Delivering Some News
Location: Amia's quarters
Timeline: MD6 2200
Amia was sleeping a lot these days, whenever she could between shifts but this time she had some news she needed to tell to Liam.
=^= Telamon to Lieutenant Reynolds, do you have time to have a coffee? I have some news but it's not urgent at all, so whenever you're free please? =^=
Liam had opened a bottle of wine and was most of the way through it. Tera had left, them breaking up just two hours ago. He blinked several times and looked at the clock on top of his shelves by "Betty". It was past 10. Amia didn't suggest coffee at that sort of time unless it was important.
=^=Sure Mei Mei=^= he answered back. He looked down at the PADD's of study for his officers exam. He hadn't managed to do much. He was still feeling bad about Tera. And coffee would do him the world of good right now. =^=Give me five minutes.=^= Precisely five minutes later Liam pressed the chime to her door.
"Come in" she called, just pouring the both of them a drink in anticipation but smiling in an attempt to let him down gently on this.
Her throat closed on sight of him and all her plans to stay calm and collected flew out of the window, so to speak. Her eyes began to fill with moisture and she felt her breath slow as if it was going to stop.
"L .... l... liam" she tried to speak normally but her voice betrayed all her efforts and seemed to come out in a shaky uncertain manner as she fought back the urgent desire to hurl herself at him and grab him into a hug. These pregnancy hormones were making her helpless when it came to keeping control of her emotions at the best of times but now.... it seemed like the universe had collapsed in on itself like an imploding black star.
She stood still, trying to stop the room spinning as her breathing became suddenly quick again.
Amia could be emotional on occasion, Liam knew full well but the extent of her upset, worry and anger right now could only mean one thing. Something had either happened to Cade or the baby. As she was not in sickbay, he reasoned it was Cade. Pulling her into a reassuring hug he said calmly. "Its okay just breathe. Tell me when your ready." He wondered what the hell his Trill best friend had pulled.
"Liam, you.... you knew he'd got a promotion..... he told you didn't he? He got to CO a Starship that no-one else would take on because it was going out on some black ops mission. I.... I was so angry with him when he told me. Not so much because it was dangerous. Every mission is dangerous, but more because it was a 5 year trip and he'd come back a stranger to his own child... not to mention the lack of support..... but even that... I mean, we could have managed. We have good friends..... but now..... I'm so sorry I shouted at him. I was horrible...." she began to shake and she couldn't go on to the important part so she just handed Liam the holographic message she'd received. "This was to be forwarded if something happened to him. It came today with the official notification. He's gone Li......." she put the little holophoto on the table and it played, showing Cade telling her he was sorry and that if she was looking at this, it would mean he was dead. It went on to leave a message for his unborn daughter and told Amia that he had always loved her but that he hadn't been able to put into words what it was that had driven him to at least try this mission and the challenges of his new command. He said he was recording this message in the honest hopes that it would never need to be watched and that if it was and he had been lost then he hoped she would try to forgive him and his decision."
Amia wept quietly as she watched it again as it played a second time, this time for Liam to hear Cade's own version since she didn't feel she could be true to the original message if she just repeated it in her own words.
She was trying so hard to hold back a whole tide of distress, attempting not to break for the sake of the baby she was carrying but the sight of Cade and the trouble he had been having trying to explain how he had felt at the time he left, together with the memories of how little she had been able to listen to his explanation because of the panic she had been feeling at the time, it was all too much.
She felt she'd known even then and maybe even he had too? No, surely that was just her imagination? She knew she had to try to stay stable but it was so hard looking at his face, his eyes, hearing his voice and at the end, was it also her imagination that he had tears in his eyes too?
A sob broke free from her constricted throat as he said goodbye and blew her a virtual kiss before the holophoto ended and dissolved itself back into an inanimate disc again and silence stifled the air in the room......and her lungs, it seemed.
"He didn't tell me," Liam said after a long time. Trying to take it all in.
"He didn't tell me because he knew I would have talked him out of that gung ho idiot decision. A black ops mission when his wife was about to give birth to his child." He was angry. So angry suddenly. He had been worried sick about Cade for weeks only being told the line he had gone back to Trill. And now not only had he lost his best friend but he had widowed Amia just as she was at the crucial part of pregnancy.
Amia sat down heavily, suddenly unable to keep standing up. She just stared at the inactive disc, unable to say anything at first.
"I should have told you Lee, I'm really sorry. I was so angry with him when he left.... we didn't say goodbye on good terms. I told him not to expect his child to know who the hell he was when he got back. IF he got back ever." she said quietly, her muffled tone belying the extent of her distress.
"Why would he do that? What had possessed him? He wasn't the man I married. He hadn't been for a long time......not since we got onto that stupid cadet ship right after the wedding.... he was... remote, disconnected...... the only time he was mine again was when I lost my memory after that hit on the head. But even then it only lasted a while." she stopped, the words seeming to choke her into silence again.
Liam couldn't answer the questions she was coming out with. He could speculate psychologically but he didn't want to upset Amia any further. "No Amia. He should have had the courage to tell me and he should have had the decency to stick around. Not dump all this on you and your unborn daughter."
He slumped down next to her. The effects of the wine from earlier had evaporated away given place to seriousness. "There's things to do. Get his affairs in order. You don't need that burden. Not now. She's so close to coming into this universe," he indicated her bump. "As angry as I am at him, we also need to ..... " he went quiet for a moment, "say goodbye properly. It will be healing and there's others on this station who were part of his life. They deserve a chance to pay their last respects too. Let me help you any way you need. You know I am here for you."
"Oh Liam..... " she broke down and sobbed into his shoulder. "I can't... a service? I.. what would I say?" she wept.
"You don't have to say anything. I can do the eulogy if you like. I'll organise everything. I don't want any stress on you," he told her.
She looked up at him, gratitude shining from her tear-filled eyes. "You're a saint Liam. A Godsend. What would I have done without you?" she sobbed into his shirt.
"Its going to get better Amia. I know there's pain and anger now but I'll help you through this. You will help me through this," he said softly putting his arm around her. "Right now your health and the baby's is priority so you lean on me for whatever you need."
T B C ......
Lieutenant Liam Reynolds
& Cmdr Amia Telamon
CMO - DS5